Online Therapy for Pregnancy, Miscarriage, and Infertility Issues. Located in Cary, NC. Authorized to practice online therapy in most US States through Psypact. See Footer for more information.
Does it Feel Like You Are Drowning in Shoulds?
I Should Know the Answer, I Should Be Happy, I Shouldn't Be So Scared, I Should Be Over This Already, I Should, I Should, I Should...You might not be sure if you want to have children, but your partner wants them and you don’t know what to do. You feel guilty and worried about what this might mean for your future AND your relationship. You’re finding it hard to find people to talk to. Many people just don’t seem to understand why a woman wouldn’t want to have children.
Or you know you want to have a baby, but you are worried about feeling miserable, gaining weight, or even giving birth. Everyone complains about how sick and uncomfortable they feel when they are pregnant. You have seen too many movies of women giving birth and it seems really scary.
You may be anxious and stressed because you are afraid of never getting pregnant or having another miscarriage. You are terrified of how devastated you will feel if you never get to have a baby. Everywhere you look someone is pregnant or there is a cute gurgling little baby. You lay awake at night worrying you may have to give up your dream of being a mother because of difficulties with infertility.
You might already be pregnant but feel scared or just plain hate it. You are trying to eat healthy but you have been sick most or all of the time. You are wondering how you are going to get through until the morning sickness goes away. You find yourself worrying something might be wrong with the baby. What if something terrible happens or you have to have a c-section? You are worried you won’t be able to handle the pain of giving birth. You might be questioning if you really want to be pregnant but you feel panicky because, after all, it is a little too late.
Maybe you have had a baby before and you want to feel better after this one (and really enjoy it this time). But you are scared you will feel depressed and anxious again and, to top it off, now you will have a baby and another child (or multiple children) to take care of.
Maybe your own childhood or the world today has left you questioning if you want to bring a child into this world or if you can be a good mother.
It is hard to talk about these things with other people because they often just don’t seem to get it. Your friends and family make assumptions about how you must feel, look at you funny, or they don’t seem to know what to say. Sometimes they say things that just make you feel worse and you are tired of answering the same questions. You are wondering if you are the only person who has ever felt like this. Everyone else seems so sure of themselves. You are starting to avoid conversations with your partner because they don’t understand. You are distracted and having trouble sleeping. You’re afraid of how much your feelings are affecting your work or even the baby.
From Frustrated and Fearful to Calm and Confident
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I help women move from frustrated and fearful to calm and confident. When you are confident about what you want and how you can get there, your life will change. You will be able to relax and enjoy new experiences without being preoccupied with all of the negative possibilities in the future. You won’t constantly feel afraid that you may have to give up on your dreams. You’ll no longer feel like you are missing out on your own life because you are constantly worrying about getting pregnant or possibly losing your baby. I will help you find the support from others that you need. I can teach you the relationship skills and help you get the energy (and the motivation) to build better relationships that you know you can rely on. I can help you find new friendships and consistently supportive people you can comfortably share things with even if you don’t have a romantic partner. If you do have a romantic partner, your improved communication skills will help you feel closer and ready to go down this future path together. You will be able to reconnect and enjoy this experience as a couple. In therapy, you will learn how to grieve the losses and the pain you have experienced without becoming lost in hopelessness and grief. Your new confidence will spill over to other parts of your life, work will even feel better, easier, and so will other relationships in your life. You will feel like the “old you”, the person you usually are, only better. You will enjoy talking to others about what is happening in your life again and make decisions without self-doubt. I can help you embrace your future with enthusiasm and experience hope again. |
You deserve to enjoy this important part of your life.
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My approach will help you get on the path that is right for you. Therapy with me will help you to clarify what it is you want and need and how to make decisions that are best for you (and not what is right for others or what you feel others expect of you). Finally, you will learn how to be gentle with yourself, how to have self-compassion, and how to truly support and take care of yourself. I will be with you as you begin to understand and grieve the past. You will learn how to forgive yourself (and others) and to stop feeling guilty for any “mistakes” you feel you have made. You will begin noticing the good that is happening to you and what is possible. You will learn how to quiet your negative thoughts and soften your upset feelings. I will teach you how to keep these negative feelings from stopping you from creating the life you really want. My clients tell me I create a safe, nurturing, and supportive environment where they feel comfortable expressing their most difficult feelings without fear. We are even quite likely to share a good laugh. Therapy with me will help you get comfortable looking at parts of yourself and your past that may be tough to look at. Clients often tell me things they have never shared with anyone. If you feel like painful experiences from the past are holding you back, I can help you heal and to live a full and happy life again. |
Come to Therapy So You Can Learn How To:
- Understand what you are feeling and feel clear about who you are and what is most important to you.
- Learn how to grieve losses and how to experience your feelings without becoming overwhelmed by them.
- Notice your thoughts without getting stuck in them or believing that just because you have a thought, it is true. This will keep you from letting your brain torture you with all of the bad things that COULD happen.
- Express yourself in a way that you feel closer and more connected with your partner, friends, and family.
- Increase your confidence and self-esteem so you feel ready to take on the challenges in front of you.
- Grow stronger so you can negotiate the hardships and losses that happen in your life without feeling like you have an impossible mountain to climb to feel better.
Frequently Asked Questions
What If I don't know if I want kids and my partner wants them?
In therapy, our job is to help you clarify what you want and how to best express your feelings to your partner. This can feel complicated and scary, but you don’t have to do this alone. Whether you decide you would like to have children or you don’t, it is important that you feel at peace with your decision. After you feel sure about what it is you want, I will also help you make decisions about how and where to go from there.
I had a miscarriage. What if I don’t ever feel ready to get pregnant? I am not sure if I can go through this again.
This is a common reason my clients come to therapy. It takes time to heal after such a loss. You need understanding and support to make a decision about if and when you are ready to try again. Most importantly, you need someone who can help you grieve apart from your partner and friends who mean well but who often do not understand what you have been through.
I feel anxious and overwhelmed. Am I going to feel like this the whole pregnancy?
Positive and negative feelings continually ebb and flow during pregnancy. Having a child can be one of life’s most exciting AND challenging transitions. It is normal to have many different feelings during this time including feeling stressed and worried about the things to come. I can help you feel more confident about your future and more in control of the many changes that are happening. It will empower you so you can get excited about the wonderful changes coming in your future.
I felt depressed and anxious after my first baby. How do I keep that from happening again?
Coming to therapy so you can work through these experiences and prepare for your new baby is the best way you can ensure that you will have a different, much better experience this time. My clients tell me that having therapy during their pregnancy made having another baby so much better, it felt like a whole different experience. They did not have the depression and anxiety symptoms they had after their first baby. Therapy not only changed their postpartum experience significantly for the better, but it also created a much more joyful and fulfilling pregnancy.