Helping Moms Find Calm: Therapy for Anxiety and Parenting Anxious Kids

Anxiety Treatment In CARY NC.

Counseling For Anxiety In Cary NC

Attachment anxiety is a type of anxiety that centers around relationships and the fear of losing those close to you. As a mother, you might experience this anxiety in various ways, affecting your relationships with your partner, children, family, and friends.

Generalized anxiety involves excessive, uncontrollable worry about various aspects of life. As a mother, you might find that this anxiety impacts many areas of your life, including your relationships, family, and work. It may affect you every day, most days, or it may hit you hard for several hours, or several days at a time.

The only thing more challenging than having anxiety is parenting a child with anxiety. You feel overwhelmed, unsure, and worried about their future. I understand the complexities of raising an anxious child. I have parented anxious children myself, and I saw children and their parents together for years in my practice. I am here to provide you with the guidance, support, and tools you need to navigate this journey with confidence and compassion.

Are Your Anxious Feelings Keeping you From Really living?

You feel like you want to hide under the covers. Sometimes you can rally and sometimes you feel like you just….. can’t.

Your plate FEELS so full of things to take care of each day and you can’t stay on top of things. Yet, you wake up the next day and there are just as many things to do.

You’re constantly feeling stressed and your “tried and true” things that used to help are no longer working.

You didn’t plan to be a witch but you feel like one sometimes. You are grumpy and often angry, with your partner, your children, and the ones you love the most.

You wake up at night and your mind is going “round and round,” with the things you need to do and the bad things the future holds.

You used to enjoy going out and spending time with friends, but now you have trouble getting yourself to go. If you go, sometimes you feel better and, sometimes you just want to go home.

You feel restless, convinced you will feel better if you do this, go here, get this done. Maybe you do for a minute, then the feelings are back……

You keep replaying things you said or did in your head. You fear being judged and making mistakes. Worst of all, you are your own worst critic.

You just can’t make it stop.

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I can help you find inspiration, peace and Empowerment

You can feel like you are in control again. You can regain the energy you need to pursue your dreams and follow your passion. I will help you find the confidence you need to do the things that you have been afraid of. No more avoiding things because you are afraid of failing or looking dumb, we will take things on together.

Therapy will give you the space and the breath to consider what is important to you and how you want to live your life. I will help you honor who you are and the season of life you are in so you don’t miss out. You can make the changes you need to create long-lasting happiness and fulfillment.

Most importantly, you won’t do any of this alone. I am your guide, your cheerleader, and your teammate. I am here to help. I can help you get unstuck.

I will help you balance focusing on your needs and focusing on the people in your life that you care for. You will learn to treat yourself as important and how to drop behaviors that hold you back, fear, perfectionism, and self-doubt.

You will develop the friendships, the relationships, and the support you need. Together, we will work on making the relationships you have better and the number of people in your life that you enjoy and feel supported by. You need to feel connected and nurtured by others.

You will learn new ways of thinking that bring serenity. You can learn how to respond when your mind tells you to be fearful and not to do what you would like to be able to do. You will learn how to be the author of your story.

I will help you learn how to manage your emotions so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Your feelings won’t throw you off track of where you want to go and who you want to be.

You will increase your self-compassion and a positive sense of who you are and what you are capable of.

You CAN learn how to stay in the present where the thing you are fearing isn’t happening. I will help you learn how to focus on the here and now, instead of constantly worrying about the past or the future.

Finally, I will help you discover new ways to approach anxiety-triggering situations so you gain confidence in your ability to tackle them. You will learn how to create the life YOU want.

You Can Trust Me to Help

Together, we will work to discover what you need to feel better. You can depend on me to know how to get there. I will help you regain your confidence and find your way to greater peace and happiness. I am dedicated to these issues because they were the issues most important to me after being the daughter of a mother with mental illness. These issues continue to be the most important in my life after years of personal healing and three decades of motherhood.

I will help you put the self-help books you have read and the podcasts you have listened to into action. At first, you will likely need practical solutions, problem-solving, and support. It is essential you find a therapist who understands you so you can stop feeling like you are trying to do everything all alone. Next, we will work on your self-esteem and, if needed, work on unresolved feelings from childhood or previous relationships. Together, we will work on making long-lasting changes both in yourself and your relationships. I can help you determine what is your responsibility and, more importantly, what is not.

Parenting a Child with Anxiety

The only thing more challenging than having anxiety is parenting a child with anxiety. You feel overwhelmed, unsure, and worried about their future. I understand the complexities of raising an anxious child. I have parented anxious children myself, and I saw children and their parents together for years in my practice. I am here to provide you with the guidance, support, and tools you need to navigate this journey with confidence and compassion.

Tips to help you get started

You might know your child is anxious because they worry excessively. They might fear situations (like school or sleepovers) or they might have physical symptoms like stomachaches and headaches. It’s normal for children to experience anxiety sometimes, but when it interferes with their daily life and happiness, it’s time to address it. Understanding your child’s signs of anxiety and their triggers is the first step in helping your child feel safe and secure.

Knowing their triggers doesn’t mean you should help them avoid things they fear. But I don’t want you to “throw them in the pool” either. You need to support facing their fear in a way they can take ownership of successfully overcoming it, and without overwhelming them. In therapy, we call this keeping someone in their window of tolerance. If done right, facing these fears and having success will empower them to be better able to do it again in other areas of their life.

Avoidance makes sense to anyone (and everyone) when they are afraid, but in the long run, it makes anxiety worse. It too easily becomes a cycle where the relief of avoiding something leads to more and more avoidance. This leads to feelings of isolation, helplessness, and depression because your world becomes smaller each time you avoid something that could have made your life bigger and better.

Every anxious child is unique, and so are the strategies that work best for them. Together, we will develop personalized parenting techniques that align with your child’s specific needs and strengths. This includes creating a supportive and structured environment, teaching relaxation techniques (if they are open to using them), and using positive reinforcement to build your child’s confidence. I will guide you in implementing these strategies effectively, making your home a safe haven for your child.

Raising an anxious child also takes an emotional toll on you. You are probably feeling frustrated, guilty, and helpless. With me, you can have a safe space to express your feelings and work through them without judgment. We will explore ways to build your emotional resilience, helping you to stay calm and patient even during the hardest of times.

Effective communication is crucial in fostering a positive relationship with your anxious child. Children with anxiety often need extra reassurance and understanding and often they make it hard to provide it to them. I will help you develop clear and empathetic communication techniques that will help your child feel heard and understood. These skills will not only ease your child’s anxiety, but it will also strengthen your relationship with them.

Your child’s education and social interactions are vital parts of their development. Working closely with teachers, school counselors, and other professionals will ensure that your child receives the support they need both at home and in school. I can help you in navigating these relationships, advocating for your child’s needs, and creating a consistent approach across school, camp, and hopefully even grandma’s house.

Caring for an anxious child requires significant energy and dedication. It’s essential to also take care of yourself. We will explore practical self-care strategies that fit into your busy life, ensuring you have the physical and emotional resources to support your child effectively. I will also help you work through your issues that are keeping you from showing up for your child in the way that you want. Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s a necessity for both you and your child. If you don’t take care of yourself emotionally, it will be harder to take care of your child

Common Worries When You Have Attachment Anxiety as a Mom

Relationship with Your Partner: You might worry that your partner doesn’t love you as much as you love them or fear that they might leave you. You could find yourself needing constant reassurance and feeling insecure about your relationship.
Relationship with Your Children: As a mother, you might worry excessively about whether you’re a good enough parent. You may feel anxious about your children’s well-being and whether they feel loved and secure. These worries might make you overly protective or fearful of being away from them. Children can sense these feelings and it can make them feel anxious too or feel like they need to take care of you.
Relationships with Family and Friends: You might feel anxious about your relationships with other family members and friends. This can include fears of being misunderstood, rejected, or not valued. You could worry that people you care about will abandon you or not support you when you need them.

Common Worries For Moms with Generalized Anxiety

Relationship with Your Partner: You might worry about your partner’s well-being, your relationship’s stability, and whether you’re being a good partner. These worries can lead to seeking reassurance and feeling tense or irritable.
Relationship with Your Children: Concerns about your children’s health, safety, and future can become overwhelming. You might worry about their development and their future, their school performance, and whether you’re meeting their needs as a parent.
Family and Friends: You might feel anxious about your relationships with your extended family and friends. This might include worries about conflicts, being judged, or something bad happening in your relationship with them.
Work and Daily Life: You might worry about your job performance, financial stability, and everyday tasks. Even small things like household chores or errands can feel daunting and stress-inducing.

Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder:

Persistent Worry: You might feel anxious or stressed most of the time, even when there’s no specific reason. Your mind may jump from one concern to another or you might get “stuck” on one worry and then later a different one.
Physical Symptoms: Anxiety can cause physical issues like muscle tension, headaches, fatigue, difficulty sleeping, and stomach problems.
Difficulty Concentrating: You might find it hard to focus or complete tasks because your mind is preoccupied with worry.
Restlessness and Irritability: Feeling on edge and easily irritable or angry can be common when dealing with generalized anxiety.
Generalized anxiety is also a common and treatable condition. Get help so it gets better!

Frequently Asked Questions About Therapy

For Anxiety in Cary NC

What anxiety disorders do you treat?

I treat all types of anxiety. Most often my clients have an adjustment disorder (difficulty adjusting to a stressor), generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, separation anxiety, obsessive thinking and compulsions.

What types of therapy do you use to treat anxiety?

I only use evidence-based therapies that have research showing they are effective. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the gold standard therapy for Anxiety. This can include exposure therapies, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), mindfulness-based therapy, and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT). I also use trauma (such as somatic therapies) and attachment-oriented therapies including (EFIT) Emotionally Focused Therapy.

How does anxiety typically present itself in Moms?

Mothers often come to therapy with worry about the future and intrusive thoughts that are upsetting and/or scary. Anxiety, obsessive thinking, and compulsive behavior often happen together. This is because you are desperate to find relief from the worry and so if something helps you to feel better once, it is natural to try it again, and again, and again. Often people are really worried about what these symptoms mean and don’t seek help. But most “crazy” people aren’t worried about something being wrong with them. They are not the ones coming to therapy. Most often, these intrusive thoughts are a symptom of anxiety.

Do You Use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Anxiety?

Yes, I use CBT treatments primarily for anxiety because it has been found in research to be the most effective therapy for many anxiety disorders.

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With Me, You Will Be Getting A Unique Combination Of Many Years Of Education, Professional Experience, And Personal Lived Experience.

My passion for mothers was born out of the stress of walking the floor with my first baby while she cried for hours. I felt so unsure if I could be both a good mother and a good Psychologist after a childhood filled with love but also rage and neglect.

Clients often tell me I am the first “therapist they could really connect with.” I want to create a therapy experience where you reach your goals in a way that YOU feel comfortable with. Often, a big part of therapy is getting comfortable with change. Change is hard, but having someone else there with you when you are trying to do something new and hard gives you the confidence you need and makes all the difference.

My approach will be tailored to your needs and your preferences.

Do you like structure and homework? Then I will give you homework.

Do you need time and space to talk and figure out what you are feeling? That is my bread and butter.

Do you need relationship or emotional coping skills, or do you need the motivation and confidence to use the skills you already have?

By the end of your time with me, you will have newfound confidence you know what you are doing, and you will finally be on the right path.